What’s good about aging? Here are just a few of the positive aspects

12/08/2024
Q. I am a single woman approaching 60 years and aware of two different scenarios about aging. The first is that you slowly fall apart, a doom and gloom story. There is a lot written about that. There is less written about what gets better. At my age, I am eager to know. Can you comment on this? P.L.
Indeed, the two stories occur at the same time: The vulnerabilities and the opportunities that come with age. The vulnerabilities are the downside of aging. The good news is that there is much we can do to counteract those vulnerabilities by slowing the aging process. But that’s for another column.
So, let’s focus on the upside: What’s good about aging? Several aspects improve with time. Here are just a few.
Emotional intelligence increases. This is the ability to manage your own emotions and understand the emotions of others. It consists of being self-aware, being able to regulate your feelings, having social skills and empathy for others. Laura Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, was quoted by the mental health nonprofit The Wellnest suggesting that advanced age can breed compassion. It is related to older adults’ emotional stability as they become more settled in the rhythm of their lives. Older adults “see the light in the face of mortality” which might be the strongest marker of emotional intelligence, she adds. They are better at living in the moment and appreciate their life experiences. This awareness may enhance their ability to understand themselves and others.
More Positive memories. Older adults recall more positive than negative memories. A study by Carstensen and Joseph Mikels at Stanford University found that adults ages 65 to 85 were able to recall more information associated with positive than negative experiences. Their sample group was shown positive images, negative images, and neutral images. Recall was better for the positive images as opposed to the negative or neutral ones. The researchers noted that cognitive abilities tied to emotion actually improve with age. One rationale is that older persons again are aware of the finite number of years ahead and can put the bad things behind them, realizing it’s a waste of their precious time. Selective memory may be a good thing.
Crystallized Intelligence improves. This type of intelligence increases with age. It consists of the accumulation of what you have learned in the past and stored. It’s based on knowledge and improves throughout adulthood as a result from experience, education and cultural background. It’s acquired through studying, learning new things, reading and accomplishing different tasks. It involves recalling specific facts. It may apply to navigating the fastest route on the freeway, solving a math problem based on past learning of the formulas or completing the word game world. Crystallized intelligence improves by learning a new skill or language, taking a class and reading books.
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Friendships often deepen. Friendships play a significant role in healthy aging. According to a study from the University of Michigan, individuals’ friendships are a stronger predictor of health and happiness than their family relationships. Furthermore, older adults typically are more satisfied with their social relationships than younger adults, according to a study reported in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. However, with age, social connections and networks may decrease because friends move, have limitations in connecting or die. Yet, the remaining relationships are reported as being even more satisfying. Perhaps one reason is that with age, we have more time to enhance existing relationships as well as needing someone to be there, to understand us, inspire us and share our challenges and victories of aging. One may have fewer friends in later life, but the quality of those remaining relationships often deepens.
Not everyone has these positive experiences. When suffering from chronic pain, a disability, finding prescriptions unaffordable or grieving at the loss of a loved, it can be difficult to think about the upside of aging. Yet when looking at the larger picture, research and experience indicate there is an upside. Attitude and circumstances count.
Next week, we’ll describe other aspects of later life that improve such as happiness, wisdom, decision making and more.
Thank you, P.L., for your important question. In the meantime, stay well and know during this busy time of the season, there is always time for kindness.
Helen Dennis is a nationally recognized leader on issues of aging and the new retirement with academic, corporate and nonprofit experience. Contact Helen with your questions and comments at Helendenn@gmail.com. Visit Helen at HelenMdennis.com and follow her on facebook.com/SuccessfulAgingCommunity
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